Tankas on snippets overheard

“If you come face to face with a lion around the safari huts, don’t whatever you do run, best thing is to shout at them”

This were all my patch,

right peaceful it were too. Now

their big game is shouting.


Half expecting one of them

to brandish a whip and chair!



Nigella Lawson, taking a joint of meat out of the oven:
“This is the moment of truth… the carnal unveiling!”

I’m pure meat, and boy,

I “cook” – do I tempt your tongue?

Now for this last veil…


“And I hope all your doughnuts

turn out like Fanny’s”. Ba-boom!


“This is my ex-husband. What’s that you’re drinking, Mick?”

“Wine”

“… that’s why he’s my EX-husband”

Here’s where we buried

the dog. I’ll dig my heels in,

find a rotting bone…


“Tracy. I’m addicted to

masochistic resentment.”


London dusk Copyright Five Cram

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