I’ve prayed on my knees at the well of St Denis,
the monks at Chambery laughed at me,
“Humbug!” they scoffed, chanting their mumbo jumbo;
the stony road my lonely jamboree.
Abbot Marcel – what a pampered queen!
His “humble” bubble lit with champagne dreams;
His trouble? He camps amid the humdrum
fancying himself the holy Lamp Supreme.
My pilgrimage, this path I tramp serene?
From grumbling feeble faith in Kingdom Come
by grace of God on High I chanced to see
in reverie of fire, St Anthony.
No more my spirit stumbles thanklessly
– anoint my head with oil of ambergris!
Assemble, Monks, for my encomium,
the time has come, I’ve found my family tree.
Our Abbot’s bumbling ways won’t hamper me
– fumbling to keep the rabble dumb –
my imprimatur will stamp my team
as Brothers lambast him – and champion me.
Verses of Five 